In “The Last Lecture,” Randy Pausch said, “The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”

I took horseback riding lessons in college because my school offered them and it was something I had dabbled in as a child, but I wanted to pursue riding more. My class schedule was arranged in such a way that rather than being in the beginner class (where I belonged) I ended up in the intermediate class.

I quickly learned that I hated being the beginner. I hated how everyone else was given one instruction, and I was given something else. My rational brain knew it was because I simply didn’t have the experience of the other riders, but my emotional brain was saying, “You suck.”

It was that irritating feeling of wanting to be on their level that prodded me to work harder and be braver.

The scary thing about horseback riding is that if you try a skill you’re not ready for yet, you could get seriously injured or even killed. Had I been in a beginner class, I would have probably took my sweet time before attempting a canter or a jump, but in my mind in that intermediate class, there was no time to waste on fear. I wanted to prove myself to those other riders.

So I did exercises outside of the ring. I worked my butt off when I was in the ring, and I became laser-focused on mastering every skill.

I’m happy to say that within just two years of lessons, I was invited to compete as a member of the school’s equestrian team– at its lowest level, of course, but yet again that just meant that at every team practice I was surrounded by riders who were better than I was, and I was constantly challenged.

Now that I have kids of my own, I always encourage them to join the class or group that’s just beyond their abilities, because it’ll spur them to try harder. As soon as I started to notice that my daughter was the best in her gymnastics class, I talked to the teacher about moving her up a level, because I could see her growth starting to slow.

Doing the harder thing is like putting weight in the back of a pickup truck with rear-wheel drive: If you want to get traction, you have to increase your load.