And I thought my childhood orthodontist was bad! That’s terrifying!

My orthodontist was like a scary clown. He always had this huge, wide, freaky grin on his face and he always talked in this loud, sugary, overenthusiastic voice.

Once I went in because I had a loose tooth that wouldn’t come out, and they couldn’t finish fitting my braces until it did. He pulled it, no numbing whatsoever, and then pulled TWO other teeth that he claimed were loose, but I was positive they were NOT.

He was chattering happily the whole time in his too-loud, too enthusiastic voice. I remember just white-knuckling it through the whole thing and sweating through my shirt, tears leaking out my eyes because of the pain. There was blood all over my little bib by the time they were done.

The worst part is that despite the horror I experienced in that office, everything there was circus-colored, and there were all these posters up on the walls everywhere with goofy photos and messages, like a lion draped across a tree branch with the words, “My get-up-and-go just got up and went.” I also remember a poster of Garfield with a big, brace-covered grin on his face with the caption, “It’s COOL to flash a SILVER SMILE!”

Honestly, just thinking about that place now gives me the heebie-jeebies.

But, like you, I thought that was how it was supposed to be, and I never said anything about it. My parents thought the orthodontist was a little creepy as well, and we used to joke about his, “HEEEEEEY! How are YOOOOU today?????” but I don’t think I ever told them the extent of it.

I won’t even talk about the dentist who decided I didn’t really need any numbing because it was just a “small filling.” Nothing like feeling your tooth get drilled out while the dentist chats with his assistant about the Redskins game the night before…

I always sit in on my kids’ dentist and orthodontist appointments.